Issue #31: The Magic in the Ordinary

Sometimes we have our deepest insights during our most mundane moments. Walking down a quiet hallway at the office. Tying your shoes before going on a run. Sitting on a folding chair on a breezy afternoon, waiting for your kid to go up to bat during their baseball game. 

This realization actually struck me years ago when facilitating a workshop on college essays. 

Some of my students were worried that they didn’t have a big “sob story” to share on their college application essays. I didn’t get into the fact that I don’t think kids should be asked to exploit their trauma for a chance to get into college (that’s a discussion for another day). 

Instead, I encouraged them to think of their everyday lives and the little moments that make up their typical day. Within those unique slices of life, they can dive in and share a deeper, more unique story about themselves. Their job was to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. 

If we press the pause button during those moments, we can discover the quiet yet clear  nuggets of wisdom life has to offer. Right there in front of us. 

[Me annoying my friends and zooming in on everything.]

​I’ll share a moment I had recently with my teenage son. We were in the car together, running a last minute errand to the store to pick up something he needed for school. His request came at the 11th hour, so I was irritated. All I wanted to do was go home and relax. Naturally, he was also annoyed with me sternly asking for more notice next time. There we were in the car, riding along in this tense silence. 

Then he turned up the car radio. The opening guitar chords immediately gave it away: “Linger” by The Cranberries. I let a faint smirk form on my lips and kept driving. Dolores O'Riordan started singing the lyrics, and my son sang along. Then I joined him. Before we knew it, we were both belting out the chorus:

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?

[Pretty much how we looked in the car, sans the backup singers.]

​And there we were, laughing and singing like a couple of goofballs. This song has such sad lyrics, but the context we brought to it made it surprisingly joyful. Prior annoyance was all washed away. This was only three minutes of my life, but in my mind’s eye, I took a “screenshot,” wishing with all of my heart that I could slow things down and bottle up that sweet little instant. Keep it as a salve for later when we wound each other with criticism and impatience. But this was a passing moment, one that will have to settle in as a memory of us. However, this made me realize that my son and I might be in different life stages, but we aren’t so different. And no matter how much we may butt heads, music will always be a way we can stay connected.

And now, when I hear that song, I know we’re going to be okay. 

Writing Updates: 
Jon has finished inking! Now, he’s moving on to coloring, which seems to be going a lot faster (knock on wood that I don’t eat my words). Here he is, coloring a page between innings at our son’s baseball game. 

We’re pushing through to the end, but it’s so cool to see THREE BEE HONEY coming to life with color. Here’s a video of his coloring process. 

Current Read: And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball

I’ve been interested in reading memoirs, especially graphic memoirs, and a friend recommended And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball. Aside from the beautiful cover, Kimball’s illustrations immediately grabbed my attention. Her memoir explores tough subjects: mental health, broken families, parent estrangement, etc. But I admire Kimball’s courage in telling her story fully and unapologetically. 

One of my favorite things about this book is how Kimball gets pretty granular about the details. The pattern of the rug. The smells in the room. The trinkets on the bookshelf. Those little tidbits of information come together to paint a vivid scene, where you can feel as if you’re walking alongside her as she peels back the layers of her story. Here’s an example from her book:

Pet Pics: 

​Lilo contemplating her next hit song. 

Finn trying out my son’s new guitar bag.

Garden Updates:
The first batch of spring/summer tomatoes have arrived! I just planted some mint as well (which can add a nice flavor to a light summer salad).

I’m excited to add these to a Greek salad I’m making this week. Here’s a favorite recipe if you’d like to try it. 

Sanity Corner:
As a person who is constantly busy, I’m a big fan of podcasts because I can listen while doing chores, yardwork, or exercising. I especially love ones that have short and sweet episodes, like It’s Going to Be Okay by Nora McInerny.

​Each episode features a different person sharing their “okay” moment on a voice memo. A moment that reminds them that the world isn’t all that bad, which offsets the pervasive “doom and gloom” that surrounds us. It’s a practice of finding something special in the mundane, and I find myself looking forward to every episode.

Be sure to check it out!

That’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in June. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend and/or a favorite frenemy! :)

Take care,
Desi