I go on runs a few times a week. And when I say “run,” I’m being very, very generous.

Anywho, several months ago, I started seeing an older couple walking their dog in the opposite direction. When we first crossed paths, we’d politely nod at each other. Then we began waving to one another with a smile. 

During the past few weeks, the couple has begun cheering and clapping when I run (okay… jog) past them. It’s a little burst of excitement, and it makes me laugh. Best of all, it makes me forget about my aching leg muscles.  

​I love how we don’t even know each other’s names, but that hasn’t stopped us from developing this silly little ritual. 

Then I thought: why don’t we cheer on more people? And I mean cheering outside of sporting events and performances. Why not applaud your friend who went on her 23rd date since the divorce? Or the dad who’s driven his kids to practice for the 210th time. Or the writer who got her 88th rejection from an agent.

So to you. Yes, you, dear reader. The ones chugging away on a project after hours. The ones organizing. The ones dreaming. The ones healing. The ones supporting. The ones quietly and consistently showing up, making this world a little less broken. 

Cheers to you. 

When many people think of poetry, they think of writing that may be confusing, old-fashioned—or worse: purposefully inaccessible. This book subverts that presumption in the most delicious way. A Bit Much is a delightful book that is equal parts funny and profound. I was so excited to read it that when I got the book in the mail, I inhaled nearly half of it in one sitting! Lyndsay Rush is hilarious and deep and honest--someone so many of us can relate to. Here’s an example of one of her poems. 

Garden Update:
Fall means it's apple season. And our gala apple tree is popping off. They are smaller than the ones at the store, but perfect for a sweet snack.

Sanity Corner:
Little treats are wonderful. And I think we all deserve them. One of my favorites? A matcha latte. Iced or hot, both are great. If I’m home, I’ll make my own (here’s a recipe if you’d like to try it).

It’s a small way to make a day brighter. What are some of your favorite treats? 

That’s all for September. Thanks for taking time out of your day to read this.

​Go ahead--don’t be shy. Feel free to share this newsletter with a friend! :)

Take care,
Desi

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

In Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken,” he wrote:

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, 
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood 
And looked down one as far as I could.”

Both of these examples touch on something we can all understand: the comfort of the familiar and a fear of the unknown. While most people (including me) try to stick with the former and avoid the latter, those efforts are futile. The truth is, changes on our journey are inevitable, and we can’t know what will happen. We can’t foresee the future. And we can’t live in the what-ifs if we go one way and not the other. 

And that sucks, right? I mean, there’s already so much chaos in our world. So who would want to purposefully stray away from the familiar at this point?

That person would be me.

I know I’m not the only one. But if I’m being real, that wasn’t always how I felt. In my early adulthood, I craved stability. I reveled in a solid plan. And I loved helping people. So my career as a teacher served that purpose while giving me a firm ground to take root and grow. 

As many of you know, things changed. And—to belabor the metaphor—I grew tired of the path I was on. So I left teaching. Nevertheless, I immediately felt anxious about having no clear step-by-step trajectory for my future. 

Instead of rushing back to the life I’ve always known, I leaned into the new path and felt more determined to create the life I wanted, and that included venturing into the unknown in my creative projects as well. 

Many writers understand that getting a book traditionally published is hard. Extremely hard. Yet it was the standard by which writers measured their success, and the only way to get a story out that was worthwhile. 

Or so I thought.

When we tried getting THREE BEE HONEY published (as well as a second manuscript) through the well-trodden and very traditional path, we were met with dead-ends, false hope, and straight up silence. We thought our story’s journey was over. Another one lost in the sea of abandoned ideas. 

Then our agent actually encouraged us to try a non-traditional path: crowdfunding. This made us nervous. But we trusted that it would be okay. At the very least, we’d learn something, and that alone was worth it. So we ventured on another new path, and our story is now in print and has a whole new readership beyond us and our small circle of writer friends.

Now, I’m not saying going out on your own is easy by any means. But it’s important. It’s us putting a stake in the ground. It’s telling the world, Dammit, my ideas matter. 

So my wish for you is this: trust the voice in your head and pursue your dreams, even if they push against the familiar. Don’t keep yourself small to avoid potential pain. If a door is shut on you, make your own side entryway. 

Throw things at the wall, and see what sticks. Take more risks, even start with smaller ones, if that’s more comfortable. 

You might be surprised at how making your own trail opens up your world. 

Writing Updates: 
The THREE BEE HONEY books are now printed!

We received the book delivery, which was so exciting (we captured the unboxing moment in this video). Can you spot the early 90s movie reference? We’re anxious to get those orders packaged and delivered within the week.

If you missed out on our Crowdfundr campaign and would still like a copy of TBH, we have them for sale here on our website.

In the meantime, we’re looking into applying for exhibitor tables at local conventions and comic events. Also, we’re planning on making an appearance at some local pop-ups with other comic creators. Stay tuned! 

Current Read: Made to Stick, by Dan Heath and Chip Heath

I discovered this book when reading a Reddit post on how to come up with stronger “big ideas,” and this book was recommended. It’s been great so far! By deconstructing various real-world examples and leaning on evidence-based research on human psychology, Dan and Chip Heath illustrate why certain ideas die. More importantly, they reveal how we can take an idea that might be “okay” and amp it up to make it “sticky.”

​Fun note: they also cite teachers as great examples of people who are effective at making complex ideas “stick” with students (yay teachers!). If you’re looking to make your ideas stronger or finding an angle to make it resonate more, this would be a good book to check out!

Garden Update:
Our late-summer fruits are coming in hot! Lots of grapes (cabernet and red flame table grapes), plus figs. The purple cabernet grapes are astringent and really only work to make wine, which we tried to make a few years ago. It tasted like balsamic vinegar lol. We’ll have to try again when we have time. But the red grapes are very sweet and crisp and even better after they’ve been chilled in the fridge. And the figs are delicate, sweet, and so snackable. 

​I’ve been baking more these days. Since the afternoons get pretty warm, I usually try to bake in the mornings.I don’t have a ton of baking experience and truly lean on my go-to recipes: banana bread with chocolate chips (pictured), cookies, and sometimes homemade granola. There’s something so grounding about it. I love the way the house smells when I have something baking in the oven. The way it makes everything feel so cozy. And cozy is always a vibe I’ll go for. 

That’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading! 

Go ahead--don’t be shy. Share this newsletter with a friend! :)


Take care,
Desi

Sometimes we have our deepest insights during our most mundane moments. Walking down a quiet hallway at the office. Tying your shoes before going on a run. Sitting on a folding chair on a breezy afternoon, waiting for your kid to go up to bat during their baseball game. 

This realization actually struck me years ago when facilitating a workshop on college essays. 

Some of my students were worried that they didn’t have a big “sob story” to share on their college application essays. I didn’t get into the fact that I don’t think kids should be asked to exploit their trauma for a chance to get into college (that’s a discussion for another day). 

Instead, I encouraged them to think of their everyday lives and the little moments that make up their typical day. Within those unique slices of life, they can dive in and share a deeper, more unique story about themselves. Their job was to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. 

If we press the pause button during those moments, we can discover the quiet yet clear  nuggets of wisdom life has to offer. Right there in front of us. 

​I’ll share a moment I had recently with my teenage son. We were in the car together, running a last minute errand to the store to pick up something he needed for school. His request came at the 11th hour, so I was irritated. All I wanted to do was go home and relax. Naturally, he was also annoyed with me sternly asking for more notice next time. There we were in the car, riding along in this tense silence. 

Then he turned up the car radio. The opening guitar chords immediately gave it away: “Linger” by The Cranberries. I let a faint smirk form on my lips and kept driving. Dolores O'Riordan started singing the lyrics, and my son sang along. Then I joined him. Before we knew it, we were both belting out the chorus:

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?

​And there we were, laughing and singing like a couple of goofballs. This song has such sad lyrics, but the context we brought to it made it surprisingly joyful. Prior annoyance was all washed away. This was only three minutes of my life, but in my mind’s eye, I took a “screenshot,” wishing with all of my heart that I could slow things down and bottle up that sweet little instant. Keep it as a salve for later when we wound each other with criticism and impatience. But this was a passing moment, one that will have to settle in as a memory of us. However, this made me realize that my son and I might be in different life stages, but we aren’t so different. And no matter how much we may butt heads, music will always be a way we can stay connected.

And now, when I hear that song, I know we’re going to be okay. 

Writing Updates: 
Jon has finished inking! Now, he’s moving on to coloring, which seems to be going a lot faster (knock on wood that I don’t eat my words). Here he is, coloring a page between innings at our son’s baseball game. 

We’re pushing through to the end, but it’s so cool to see THREE BEE HONEY coming to life with color. Here’s a video of his coloring process. 

Current Read: And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball

I’ve been interested in reading memoirs, especially graphic memoirs, and a friend recommended And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball. Aside from the beautiful cover, Kimball’s illustrations immediately grabbed my attention. Her memoir explores tough subjects: mental health, broken families, parent estrangement, etc. But I admire Kimball’s courage in telling her story fully and unapologetically. 

One of my favorite things about this book is how Kimball gets pretty granular about the details. The pattern of the rug. The smells in the room. The trinkets on the bookshelf. Those little tidbits of information come together to paint a vivid scene, where you can feel as if you’re walking alongside her as she peels back the layers of her story. Here’s an example from her book:

​Lilo contemplating her next hit song. 

Finn trying out my son’s new guitar bag.

Garden Updates:
The first batch of spring/summer tomatoes have arrived! I just planted some mint as well (which can add a nice flavor to a light summer salad).

I’m excited to add these to a Greek salad I’m making this week. Here’s a favorite recipe if you’d like to try it. 

Sanity Corner:
As a person who is constantly busy, I’m a big fan of podcasts because I can listen while doing chores, yardwork, or exercising. I especially love ones that have short and sweet episodes, like It’s Going to Be Okay by Nora McInerny.

​Each episode features a different person sharing their “okay” moment on a voice memo. A moment that reminds them that the world isn’t all that bad, which offsets the pervasive “doom and gloom” that surrounds us. It’s a practice of finding something special in the mundane, and I find myself looking forward to every episode.

Be sure to check it out!

That’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in June. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend and/or a favorite frenemy! :)

Take care,
Desi

​Poetry isn’t given the attention it deserves. But it sneaks into the cracks of our everyday lives via inspirational quotes, lyrics from our favorite songs, and stickers on water bottles. 

Poetry’s everywhere, so long as we’re paying attention. 

What I love most about poems is that reading them is like looking into a mirror. They each reflect essential human truths in some pretty surprising ways. 

So in honor of national poetry month, I’d like to put a spotlight on one of my favorite, albeit quieter 18th century poems: “To a Mouse.” 

Take a moment to read it, if you haven’t seen it before. It was composed in the Scottish dialect, but for this post, I’ll refer to the standard English translation. Written by the Scottish bard, Robert Burns, “To a Mouse” tells the story of a farmer plowing his field and accidentally destroying a mouse’s nest in the process. 

It seems simple and straight-foward enough…at first.

The speaker opens by addressing the mouse, feeling pity for him in the beginning. 

Small, sleek, cowering, timorous beast,
O, what a panic is in your breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With hurrying scamper!

Then the farmer reveals some self-awareness in this prophetic and poignant line:

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,

When I got to this point, I realized it was deeper than some dude talking to a helpless mouse. As the poem progresses, the farmer’s tone grows more despairing as he realizes that the mouse isn’t actually an inferior little “beastie.”

I want to focus on these lines toward the end:

But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

Still you are blessed, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!

Boom, there it is. The “mirror” moment of the poem. A golden nugget that reveals the essence of the human condition. 

We constantly dwell on the past and worry about the future. However, living in the present isn’t easy for us humans. But boy, do we try our darndest to make it our normal like the mouse does. There are entire industries built around this goal. 

If we’re lucky, maybe we can live purely in the present for a few moments, but the worries and anxieties, fueled by our egos, always seem to percolate back to the surface of our consciousness.

And in case we do get on our high horse and somehow forget about our flaws, we have poets to humble us. To remind us each and every day how beautifully complex we are. So yeah, grieve the loss of promised joys, the plans that went painfully askew, and remember that the whole point of this is to remember we are not the first ones to experience these ups and downs, and we definitely won’t be the last. 

So take heart in knowing we’re not going through this alone. 

Writing Updates: 
Jon and I created a little spring THREE BEE HONEY comic for our friend, Sarah Giles. We wanted to capture the bee’s POV when the weather gets warmer. For us, it’s time to enjoy some sunshine, but for bees, it’s time to get to work. 

Current Read: Scattered, by Dr. Gabor Mate

When both of my kids were diagnosed with ADHD, I immediately felt overwhelmed and frantically grasped at every piece of information I could get my hands on. Podcasts, books, classes—you name it. Some resources proved to be more helpful than others. But Scattered is one of the more helpful books I’ve read about this topic. And Gabor Mate is SUCH a great writer. His lucid and engaging voice made it easy to digest so much rich information. 

Parenting has always been hard. But parenting in this day and age—when we’re overwhelmed and juggling so many responsibilities—is even harder. Since we’re not raising our kids in a “village” like our ancestors, I consider these authors to be part of my village, guiding me and giving me hard-earned wisdom as Jon and I navigate this path. 

I’m still learning and growing as a mom. While my kids have faced and will confront additional challenges due to being neurodivergent, I can better equip myself to understand, support, and guide them. At the end of the day, that’s what matters most. 

If you know a child or adult with ADHD, I highly recommend this book! 

Pet Pics:

Lilo enjoying some baseball and watching her big brother as he crosses home plate. 

Garden Updates:
Our fig trees are back in bloom! Looking forward to putting some slices of this sweet fruit on my salads and toast. 

Sanity Corner:
We recently purchased a new record player since our old one stopped working a while ago. And man….what a difference a great player makes! The sound is so much richer, and you catch nuances in the bass and drums layers that are easy to miss on other devices. 

​Also, since I wasn’t able to see No Doubt perform at Coachella, we jammed to some Tragic Kingdom from home. It made my inner 90s teenager so, so happy. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for a reunion tour. 

That’s all for now. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend! :)

Take care,
Desi

I hate clutter. I hate how stressful and overwhelming it feels to be around a lot of stuff—especially when dealing with a small amount of space.

In fact, my ideal home would look like an Ikea catalog if I had any control over my living situation (I don’t…I have kids and pets lol). My home would be a soft, comfortable, and functional space, but definitely minimal. And simple. 

However, unlike our physical realm, our minds have infinite space for whatever we want to pack it with. And because ideas need inspiration and our ideas come from our beautiful brains, it’s helpful to deposit lots of details instead of keeping it clutter free.

So it’s time to fill ‘er up. Pack it with all kinds of information. Observations. Trivia. Questions. Everything.

But all that inspiration hoarding shouldn’t come from one place (I’m looking at you, TikTok). Don’t rely on social media for all of your “research.” Get outside and look around. Notice what you notice. What people are doing. What they’re wearing. What they’re NOT doing. How people are eating. Which places attract people and why. Which places need upkeep. 

And if you’re stuck on a personal or work project or feeling “blah” about something that feels stale or you're just out of dank meme material, change your routine. Then download every detail you can about your day. 

I’ve started using this strategy myself, and it has improved my ability to brainstorm ideas more quickly. Now when I stare at my screen, I can make the cursor move on command with a list of some starter ideas. And some of those have the potential to actually be good ones. 

Picasso once said that “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” So work at it by shaking things up and noticing the world around you. Then commit what you observe to your memory. 

You never know when it might come in handy when you need some fresh inspiration down the line. 

Current Read: How to Get Ideas, by Jack Foster

My earlier manifesto was inspired by this book. Jack Foster does a great job of inspiring and teaching us how to turn on that radar in our minds to find ideas. They are all around us, if we pay attention. How to Get Ideas is a super easy read and great for anyone who wants to find inspiration, whether it is for work or personal projects. 

One specific exercise he suggests is to spend time really, truly observing our surroundings and then write down specific observations we have each day, which can be completely random. But the act of noticing helps us exercise that inner muscle and see more going forward. 

Here are some things I noted on day one during my work commute on the train:

-Most people’s heads were down, looking at their phones.
-A teenage boy had his basketball shoes untied and seemed unbothered by it. I also noted how the untied laces touching the train floor gave me the ick. 
-A man standing on the train was reading an art history book with black and white images.
-I’ve been reading a new poem each day, and this one poem was about loss and how we hide our grief in the shadows of our smiles. #deep

Pet Pics: 

Lilo being a brave little pup as she gets her annual shots. Don’t worry, she got extra cuddles. 

​Amelie soaks up a little sunshine (and superiority) from her window perch. 

Garden Update:
Our lemon and grapefruit trees have no chill and produced a lot of fruit this month. At first, I wasn’t thrilled about grapefruit—I didn’t eat it growing up. But now in my ripening years,  I’ve developed a taste and enjoy them without any added sweetener. No judgment here if you like a little sugar on yours, lol. 

Jon got me into this podcast called Ologies, with Allie Ward, where she interviews experts on everything from black holes to apples to near death experiences. Every episode is fascinating and super engaging (Allie is such a funny host!). I’m always looking forward to learning from Allie and her team. 

She also has “Smologies,” which are shorter, kid-friendly episodes for younger audiences. Please check it out, and challenge yourself to listen to something you know nothing about. As you listen, the episode will suck you right into that wonderful rabbit hole of curiosities. 

That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with your friends! :)

Take care,
Desi

Here’s a short, sweet poem by one of my favorite poets:

Just as the hare is zipping across the finish line,
the tortoise has stopped once again
by the roadside,
this time to stick out his neck
and nibble a bit of sweet grass,
unlike the previous time
when he was distracted
by a bee humming in the heart of a wildflower.

~ Billy Collins, Horoscopes for the Dead

This poem reminds me of the Frog and Toad memes I started seeing on the Interwebs about a year ago: a Gen Z reaction against hustle culture.

​I’ve always operated like the hare in Collins’ poem. But I’ve envied the tortoise and have realized how wise he really is. We’re all racing somewhere. Racing to the job title. Racing to the accolades. Racing—and stressing and worrying along the way—to whichever status symbol that tells the world we finally made it. 

But who really cares?

The world is so much bigger than us and our precious little myopic egos. It’s healthy to zoom out far away from ourselves and hold on to that perspective. It’s humbling, but it’s calming, too. 

Once we cross a finish line, we manufacture another “finish line” to race toward. And then we go on social media, see what others have done, and feel inadequate all over again. Then we dream up new benchmarks. It goes on and on. 

And it’s exhausting. 

Sure, we can set goals and strive for them. But that requires balance. We need to remember to stop by the roadside once in a while. Touch the soft grass, feel the breeze and warm sun on our skin. 

Like Frog and Toad: 

My goal is to do this more myself. And I’ve been surprised by how hard it is after being conditioned to rush and race from one task to the other for so many years. 

So slow down. Be present. Enjoy the journey and stop to marvel at the insects along the way.

There’s no rush. 

Writing Update:
Jon has finished inking page 40 of Three Bee Honey—hooray! Progress has been slower than we’d hoped, but we’re inching closer each day. 

Here’s a sneak peek at one of the pages with Claire, Hannah, and Abi learning about the waggle dance:

So cute! 

Recent Read: The Bluest Eye, by Toni Morrison

I read this book back in college. And now that I’ve had more life experience under my belt, I felt it was worth revisiting, and I’m enjoying it even more. I also wanted to re-read it since it recently stirred up so much controversy and has even been banned in school districts around the country. The Bluest Eye explores beauty standards and racial identity. It’s about a Black girl named Pecola who is growing up in the Jim Crow South. She dreams of having blue eyes because she feels that will make her beautiful, and in that yearning, we see the pain and tragedy that inspires it. 

Toni Morrison’s prose is both beautiful and raw. Every book I’ve read by her is filled with passages that make me slam on the breaks, reverse, and re-read because I’m so shocked she actually “went there.” While her stories aren’t for the faint of heart, and this one explores many uncomfortable topics (definitely not for young ones), they cut to the core of human nature with devastating elegance and should be read by as many people as possible. I highly recommend this book! 

Pet Pics: 

​Lilo enjoying a lazy moment (and a cozy sweater) as her mom works. 

Finn keeping an eye out for his special outdoor cat friend. 

Garden Update:
Our blood oranges are back in bloom, which means some yummy juice in the mornings. In the past, we’ve made marmalade with the fruit, but life is just too crazy at the moment, so maybe next year. 

Sanity Corner:
Circling back to the poem by Billy Collins, one of the things I love to do when I want to slow down is going on walks. 

When I’m in the office or working from home, I try to take a break and go outside to clear my head. Just a 10 minute walk works wonders. 

If you can, squeeze in one 10 minute walk into your daily routine: before work, during the work day, or after. If we can spend 10-30 minutes doom scrolling, we can manage a short walk. :)

It’s well worth the effort. 

Welp...that’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading!

I’ll be in touch again in February. :)

Take care,
Desi

I recently listened to a podcast, called “How Awe Transforms Us,” which mentioned a term, “collective effervescence,” coined by a French sociologist named Émile Durkheim. To put it simply, it’s when people gather energy for a shared purpose.

Intrigued, I honed in on the examples of collective effervescence:

• Attending a concert
• Dancing at a wedding
• Gathering at a place of worship
• Protesting or marching
• Watching a favorite team play (in person)

In a world that feels so disconnected and isolating—despite our technological connection…or maybe because of it—we need to find a sense of collective effervescence more than ever. 

Collective effervescence (CE) ranges from the mundane to the sacred. It can be spontaneous or planned. It fills our human need to feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Ironically, it also makes our world feel smaller (in a good way): like we’re part of a “village.” In the U.S., we put individuality on a pedestal, but too often we forget that we are part of a larger society. This connection is not something that our phones or social media scrolling can replicate. It requires our full presence and engagement. 

However, this isn’t the same as the superficial “we’re family” statements we might’ve heard at work and now largely understand to be problematic. 

Some of my favorite CE instances: cheering with other parents at my kids’ baseball games. Or dancing at hula competition, where we literally had to dance as one. Even if we didn’t win, the energy I got from sharing that experience with others fed me for days.

Now that I ride the train a few days a week for work, I’ve had more of these moments. One day, our train to Union Station experienced delays, eventually arriving only FOUR MINUTES before the last Metrolink to my Orange County was scheduled to leave. There were several of us in that train car who needed to catch that train home, so we all made a plan to try to make it. 

As the train doors opened, I held my bags tight and sprinted across the station with the other riders. Complete strangers just minutes ago, us fellow commuters cheered each other on as we ran up the stairs and dodged other passengers. With about a minute to spare, we all made it onto the train. Our middle-aged muscles burned and we gasped for air. But dammit: we did it.

With that said, in what ways have you experienced collective effervescence recently? Which experiences have stood out in your memory?

Moreover, pursuing creative endeavors can be isolating, especially when you’re hitting a rut or experiencing rejections. So when you’re feeling “meh,” consider how you can curate collective effervescence and feel less alone. When you feed your spirit, you may find more energy to overcome creative challenges.

I’ll leave you with this Herman Mellville quote, “We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”

Writing Update:
Jon’s almost done with the most tedious, time-consuming part of making a graphic novel: the penciling stage. Life has been SO crazy with school, work, the kids’ activities and appointments, and other unexpected hiccups. Next, Jon will ink and color the pages. Fingers crossed that these next few months will be kind to us and allow him to catch up. 

If you didn’t get a chance to purchase a book, visit our site and get one asap. We’ll be closing the storefront site in one week: Monday, 11/6 at 9am, so don’t miss your chance! 

Recent Read: Fante Bukowski 2, by Noah Van Sciver 

I randomly found this graphic novel in our bookshelf and gobbled it up quickly. It’s a hilarious story about a struggling writer named Fante Bukowski, who dreams of being a successful writer, yearning for credibility and respect in the writing world. However, his hubris and comical lack of talent keeps getting in the way. 

I laughed out loud at certain scenes and how painfully relatable they were, like this one:​

If you are a writer, an artist, or do anything creative, pick up Fante Bukowski. It's a fun and enjoyable read! 

Pet Pics: 

Lilo and Finn are practically besties now. Amelie isn’t thrilled, so she’s keeping her distance. But worry not: we’re offering Amelie lots of emotional support as she adapts to this change. 

Sanity Corner:
#1: Here’s another show we’ve been watching as a family: How to Get Rich.

The title is a bit misleading (in my humble opinion) because it’s not about “getting rich,” per se—it’s about maximizing one’s financial well-being. This can involve starting your own business, getting out of debt, or saving enough to afford a new place to live. The host, Ramit Sethi, is a financial expert who helps various people overcome financial challenges and meet their personal financial goals. The show is super engaging and leans in on the stories behind each person. As Ramit helps each client, he also integrates important lessons and tips for us to be more informed. I think financial literacy should be taught in schools, and we’re seeing the impact of not educating generations of kids about handling finances. The fact that my kids ask to watch this means I can definitely give it a big thumbs up!

#2: Our Dia De Los Muertos Altar

We’ve added a few more family members to our altar this year. But honoring and remembering them has brought us some peace and comfort. ❤️❤️ 

Garden Updates: 
Our pomegranate haul from this month. We actually picked about three times the amount that you see in the picture, but we shared a lot of fruit with friends and family. 

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again next month with more updates. 
If you know someone who’d like this newsletter, don’t hesitate to share this with them. :) 

Take care,
Desi

​With that said, here’s a poem that helped me feel more connected to my “why.” It’s not a “professional why” or a “creative why”--it’s more existential than that. Once I read it a few years ago, it stuck with me as a favorite.

“Good Bones” by Maggie Smith. 

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.

I have found myself asking, “What kind of world did I bring my kids into?” A world full of hate and fear and suffering and chaos. Yes, it feels bleak at times. Yes, I lay awake at night sometimes wondering how they will navigate through this. 

When I get overwhelmed, my mind goes back to that line: “This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful.” 

Smith is right: despite the ugliness we see, there’s still hope. Why? Because we can always discover and nurture what’s beautiful. 

The “good bones” are harder to find these days, but they are still there. Despite the noise, there are many people quietly and tirelessly doing what they can to spread the good. 

It’s up to us to see the good. 

For your viewing pleasure, here is the video. 

 Writing Update:
We’ve completed our Crowdfunder and surpassed our 2nd and final stretch goal. Woohoo! 

You may have noticed that we re-opened the Crowdfundr website. We had to temporarily activate the storefront due to some issues a few supporters had with their transactions. Some transactions (processed with Stripe) labeled the contribution as “TikTok,” which caused confusion for several of our supporters and their banks. Luckily, we were able to get ahead of this and make sure to clarify what happened. 

If you didn’t get a chance to purchase a book, visit our site and get one asap!

Now, Jon is working hard at illustrating the remaining pages. Then it’s time to color. Once that is complete and we check that everything looks good, we’ll send it off to printing! 🥳🥳

Recent Read: Stamped (for Kids), by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi and adapted by Sonja Cherry-Paul

My youngest son read this book, and it captured his attention right away. So much so that he finished it in two days!  It also prompted him to ask big questions, and we talked about what he learned about our country’s history and our current society. I appreciated how the book’s language is accessible and written for a younger audience so that they can wrap their heads around complex ideas. 

When he finished Stamped, he closed it and looked at me with sadness in his eyes, shook by the ugly elements of our history. But he had a newfound determination to share his insights with others--he even asked his teacher to make this book required reading for his class. My hope is that he will continue to stay curious and keep learning. 

Pet Pics: 

The band is back, y’all! 
In truth, this is a rare occurrence. But we’re glad they’re getting more comfortable with each other. Baby steps. 

Sanity Corner:
We discovered this show, and it was so eye-opening. Even our kids were into it. The host visits various locations around the world to learn how people improve their longevity. But it’s not just about living longer. It’s about living better. The people he features, those who’ve reached their 90s and even surpassed 100 years of age have so much wisdom to share. It made me think about my habits and how we as a family can have better balance. If you’re looking for a wholesome and inspiring show, I highly recommend this one! 

Garden Updates: 
Hurricane Hilary--you probably already forgot about her lol--was thankfully pretty weak by the time it hit our area last month, but it still did some damage on our pomegranate tree. We had to tie it with rope to our patio in order to keep it from falling. But the fruit is coming in and still growing, which is good. Once we harvest the pomegranates, we’ll have to prune the tree and add some support. 

This month’s question:
With so many products to choose from, I have to ask: which pumpkin spice products are actually worth the hype? 

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in October. If you have any friends who’d like this newsletter, feel free to share this with them. :) 

​Take care,
Desi

​Getting to the final draft of any project--whether it is a book, a poem, a resume, or even a monthly newsletter (ha!)--can be a frustrating and maddening process.

It’s no wonder why people avoid writing as much as possible. And it’s why resources like ChatGPT have exploded. People want proficiency from the get go. They expect their thoughts to flow like a stream coursing peacefully over smooth river stones, pushed along by the power of inspiration from the heavens. 

Anything less than perfect is not worth struggling through. Right? 

I see this with my students as well--some almost feel paralyzed at the sight of a blank page. “I have to put pen to paper and do what?” they ask with a helpless look in their eyes, losing all trust in their abilities. 

Sure, we can opt to wait for inspiration. 

​[Okay, inspiration….any day now]

But what if it doesn’t come? It can be elusive and distant. And when it doesn’t hit us, that’s a scary moment, for sure. The blank page. The insidious cursor floating on the document, mocking you with each beat. 

Henri Matisse once said, “Don’t wait for inspiration. It comes while working." And he’s right. We just need to start, embracing the messiness, and take it from there. Every finish needs a starting point. 

One way I get them past this hurdle is to follow Matisse’s advice:  just write whatever comes to mind about that subject. Some call it freewriting. I set a timer for three or five minutes, and we “sprint” on paper. Grammar, spelling, punctuation--none of that matters (gasp!...I know). We just want to unlock the ideas and get as many of them on paper as possible. 

We see the masterful works by the creatives we admire, and wonder how we can ever be as good as them. But the truth is, they also struggle with this process. All creatives do. We just see the final, polished draft, yet they, too, experience a messy process to get there. Unbeknownst to us mortals, they also have to sift through the “junk” of their initial ideas--the good and the bad--and find what’s worth keeping and developing. 

We can’t edit a blank page. We just need to let the trash flow, give it time to air out, and then go through rounds of revisions and edits. We have to dispose of what’s not working, and hone in on what is working: that’s how we’ll discover the gem within.  

So embrace the messiness of  the first draft: the key to getting to that polished piece. 

Now, excuse me as I roll up my sleeves, get back to my garbage drafts, and crank out some  long-overdue revisions to create something worth treasuring.

Pet Pics:

Every once in a while, my phone chooses violence and reminds me of a “memory”--in the form of an old photo--from long ago. Rather than share current pet pictures, this is a throwback to our sweet border collie, Ross. He was five when we adopted him, and he was a wonderful dog. This is us at the Bodie State Historic Park (a real life ghost town). At the time this picture was taken, I was expecting our first son, but Ross was our first fur baby, and a wonderful companion and running buddy. He lived 16.5 years, and we miss him so much. I’m thankful for the wonderful years we had together. 

Current Read: Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson

One of my friends gave me Black Cake, and I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t heard of this book before. It is a beautifully written story about betrayal and the secrets that tie us together. The novel spans multiple generations, starting with two estranged siblings coming together to learn about their deceased mother’s past. It switches POV, which threw me off at first. However, once you get into it, the various perspectives flow and play off each other seamlessly, revealing the rich depth of Wilkerson’s cast. Though I have been chipping away at it slowly due to my schedule, I find myself haunted by their relationships and conflicts, and I look forward to reading more as I progress through each chapter. 

Writing Update: 
The only writing I’ve been able to do is commenting on student essays (yikes, but also lol). With finals and so many other obligations, this past month was a DOOZY. I really hope to get back on the horse in the next few months and re-work a synopsis for a graphic memoir I started working on this past summer. Keep your fingers crossed for me! 

Garden Update: 
Our lime tree is popping off, so much so that we can’t keep up. So I’ve been giving away limes (and blood oranges) to neighbors who want them. I hate to see great fruit rotting on the ground; I’d prefer sharing the wealth than letting these fruits go to waste.

That's it for January. Stay tuned for some updates next month! :)

Take care,
Desi

Game nights are underrated. And maybe….just maybe…they are the antidote to the distractions and disconnect we’ve been struggling with during these past few years. 

Plus, I love board games with family and friends. But it’s not for the reasons you may suspect. 

I couldn’t care less about which game we’re playing.

In truth, it’s all about the experience we have as a group. We ditch the small talk and get into teams (or play for ourselves). It is a change in the predictable routines and long-established roles. We avoid safe topics and get real, really fast. Some of our favorite games lately have been Telestrations, Catan, and our newest one, Klask from Denmark (my husband and 12 year old son are tough to beat in this one). We also enjoy the classics: Uno, Poker, Spoons, and Scrabble. 

​This holiday season, I had the chance to play multiple games with people, and I learned so much about them in such a short span of time. I learned who is extra competitive and well….extra. 

​But I also learned who is pensive, who is quiet and sneaky, who is quick to make jokes, who likes to troll, who is earnest and honest. In the game, children and adults are equals. We lovingly roast each other, practice cooperation, and develop strategies. We laugh (a lot), we express our honest emotions, we encourage each other, and best of all, we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We create memories and inside jokes and leave us smiling long after the games are put away. 

Can it get a bit chaotic and a little dicey? Sure. But it’s real. It disrupts the tendency to stay comfortable. Plus, I think more authenticity is good in our world. 

So next time you are at a gathering or just home with your family, take a break from your devices and play together. The box you open will also come with great times and golden memories to feed your spirit. 

Inspirational Quote:
“Every day is a new life to a wise man.”-Dale Carnegie

We all have bad days. We stumble, we get hurt, we make mistakes, we get rejected, and we fail. But it’s never the end. I love this quote because it reminds me that each new day brings new possibilities, and new paths to meet our potential, as long as we don’t give up. 

Pet Pics:

​Recent Read: Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr. Spencer Johnson

This book is deceptively simple, using the allegory of mice looking for cheese to illustrate humanity’s aversion to change. It’s a quick read--I read it in one day. However, it applies to all aspects of our lives and resonated with me. It cautions against sticking with what is familiar due to fear of the unknown. We never have everything figured out. No matter how old we are, our “cheese” will be moved by forces outside of our control, and we must adapt. There is so much out there, so many possibilities for our lives. We just have to be willing to take risks to discover them. Even if we fail, we learn. So our efforts are never in vain. 

Writing Update: 
My husband (and creative partner) submitted our THREE BEE HONEY Graphic Novel project to Pitchfest, hosted by Kids Comics Unite. Some time had passed between our submission and the awards announcements (plus I’ve been super busy), so I kinda forgot about it. When I saw the runner-up winners, I was in awe of the talent behind all of the entries. To my shock, we won third place! It was definitely an exciting surprise. You can see our pitch here, if you're curious. We get so few wins as writers and creatives, so we have to celebrate them whenever we can.

Garden Update: 
After years with no fruit or a few tiny offerings, our blood orange tree came through this year with TONS of fruits! I’ve been making fresh orange juice, and Jon made marmalade for our close family and friends. It is delicious. There’s nothing like fresh fruit from a tree! 

​That's a wrap for 2022, but stay tuned for some updates in January. In the meantime, feel free to reach out and say “hello!” :)

Have a Happy New Year! 
Take care,
Desi