​Think you have a fun idea? Cool. Now try setting up a table in a public place and pitch that idea to complete strangers. But first, you’ve gotta make eye contact and engage in conversation. 

​Sounds kinda scary, right? It can be…if you’re doing it without a support network. 

Jon and I have been pitching our book at in-person events, which can feel intimidating among seasoned writers and illustrators. But despite our nerves and jitters, we’ve always felt welcomed and supported. 

At one author event we attended, a fellow writer had an observation: “The writers I’ve interacted with in this community have been so kind and supportive. And when I step out, people can be so harsh. I’ve realized that my writing community has become my mothership.”

That sentiment stuck with me. “Mothership” connotes a sense of belonging, safety, and acceptance. It’s a warm place we can come back to when things get tough. We all hunger for and need our “mothership.” And in today’s world, that’s even more true.

When you’re putting yourself out there, people will judge and criticize. Constructive criticism has value, but we shouldn't dismiss it just because it stings. 

But meanness for meanness' sake? We need to push against that. But we also need to cultivate a community that allows us to make mistakes. To fail forward and learn without tearing us down in the process. 

While this applies to people pursuing creative projects, this need for a “mothership” impacts us all. The high school student struggling to find her “people” and fit in with peers who truly accept her. The aspiring entrepreneur looking for other business owners who have experienced the same challenges and can help problem-solve. The musician searching for fellow artists with whom she can keep practicing and improving her craft. 

I’ve found my “mothership” in communities like KCU and SCBWI, where fellow creatives understand the journey of nurturing a personal passion. They’ve faced rejections and empathize when you hit a wall. They strive to share wisdom while uplifting others. That’s a mothership. 

I don’t take these communities for granted. Many people don’t get it, so finding people who do is a precious gift. 

​No matter which path you pursue, I hope you find your “mothership.” This isn’t a passive endeavor. It takes effort to find your cheerleaders, especially when you flop. Search high and low for people who will encourage you and really see that you have so much to offer. They are out there. And discovering them will be so worth it. 

Writing Updates: 
We’ve been making our rounds at several author events. Here’s a video of one that took place at our local library. 

We’ve booked the following appearances:
12/14: City of Walnut Winter Wonderland
3/28-3/30: WonderCon in Anaheim (!!!)

Also, it’s not too late to get your copy of Three Bee Honey on our website. 

Don’t forget to give us a follow on our socials:
IG: @st.amantstories
TikTok: @stamantstories 

Recent Reads:
​Smart Brevity, by Roy Schwartz, Jim Vandehei, and Mike Allen 

Smart Brevity is a very quick read that discusses the power of conciseness in a world that’s bogged down by words and content. It’s not just about tightening your words. It’s about respecting people’s time. It offers practical tips on cutting the fluff and getting straight to the point. Every person who writes anything, even text messages or emails, should read this book. 

Mexikid, by Pedro Martin

I loved this graphic novel! Mexikid felt so relatable and reminded me of aspects of my childhood, including trips to Mexico to visit extended family. With a target audience around 6th-9th grade, the writing is laugh-out-loud funny, with poignant moments about death and loss. The rich storytelling is matched by the lush, colorful visuals. What I appreciated most was the attention to detail and little “side quests” in teaching readers about the culture, such as the random toys unique to Mexico. 

I highly recommend this book!

Pet Pics:

​Lilo snuggled up in her hoodie as the weather cools down. 

Some family tea: Amelie pretends she has zero interest in being friends with Lilo, but I recently caught her secretly sleeping in Lilo’s crate, snuggling with her blankets. Dun dun dunnnnn.

Sanity Corner:
I love a nice little park. And if I can get a little picnic going—even better. There is something so soothing about enjoying the outdoors with other people. 

Recently, we went to one of our favorite spots. The weather was perfect. The sun was shining. We played catch and rode scooters and went on the swings with the kids. In a time when things can be scary and unpredictable, it's good to have a place that can offer a sweet escape, even if it’s just for a couple of hours. 

That’s all for this month. Thanks for reading! :) 

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Take care,
Desi

Sometimes we have our deepest insights during our most mundane moments. Walking down a quiet hallway at the office. Tying your shoes before going on a run. Sitting on a folding chair on a breezy afternoon, waiting for your kid to go up to bat during their baseball game. 

This realization actually struck me years ago when facilitating a workshop on college essays. 

Some of my students were worried that they didn’t have a big “sob story” to share on their college application essays. I didn’t get into the fact that I don’t think kids should be asked to exploit their trauma for a chance to get into college (that’s a discussion for another day). 

Instead, I encouraged them to think of their everyday lives and the little moments that make up their typical day. Within those unique slices of life, they can dive in and share a deeper, more unique story about themselves. Their job was to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. 

If we press the pause button during those moments, we can discover the quiet yet clear  nuggets of wisdom life has to offer. Right there in front of us. 

​I’ll share a moment I had recently with my teenage son. We were in the car together, running a last minute errand to the store to pick up something he needed for school. His request came at the 11th hour, so I was irritated. All I wanted to do was go home and relax. Naturally, he was also annoyed with me sternly asking for more notice next time. There we were in the car, riding along in this tense silence. 

Then he turned up the car radio. The opening guitar chords immediately gave it away: “Linger” by The Cranberries. I let a faint smirk form on my lips and kept driving. Dolores O'Riordan started singing the lyrics, and my son sang along. Then I joined him. Before we knew it, we were both belting out the chorus:

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?

​And there we were, laughing and singing like a couple of goofballs. This song has such sad lyrics, but the context we brought to it made it surprisingly joyful. Prior annoyance was all washed away. This was only three minutes of my life, but in my mind’s eye, I took a “screenshot,” wishing with all of my heart that I could slow things down and bottle up that sweet little instant. Keep it as a salve for later when we wound each other with criticism and impatience. But this was a passing moment, one that will have to settle in as a memory of us. However, this made me realize that my son and I might be in different life stages, but we aren’t so different. And no matter how much we may butt heads, music will always be a way we can stay connected.

And now, when I hear that song, I know we’re going to be okay. 

Writing Updates: 
Jon has finished inking! Now, he’s moving on to coloring, which seems to be going a lot faster (knock on wood that I don’t eat my words). Here he is, coloring a page between innings at our son’s baseball game. 

We’re pushing through to the end, but it’s so cool to see THREE BEE HONEY coming to life with color. Here’s a video of his coloring process. 

Current Read: And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball

I’ve been interested in reading memoirs, especially graphic memoirs, and a friend recommended And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball. Aside from the beautiful cover, Kimball’s illustrations immediately grabbed my attention. Her memoir explores tough subjects: mental health, broken families, parent estrangement, etc. But I admire Kimball’s courage in telling her story fully and unapologetically. 

One of my favorite things about this book is how Kimball gets pretty granular about the details. The pattern of the rug. The smells in the room. The trinkets on the bookshelf. Those little tidbits of information come together to paint a vivid scene, where you can feel as if you’re walking alongside her as she peels back the layers of her story. Here’s an example from her book:

​Lilo contemplating her next hit song. 

Finn trying out my son’s new guitar bag.

Garden Updates:
The first batch of spring/summer tomatoes have arrived! I just planted some mint as well (which can add a nice flavor to a light summer salad).

I’m excited to add these to a Greek salad I’m making this week. Here’s a favorite recipe if you’d like to try it. 

Sanity Corner:
As a person who is constantly busy, I’m a big fan of podcasts because I can listen while doing chores, yardwork, or exercising. I especially love ones that have short and sweet episodes, like It’s Going to Be Okay by Nora McInerny.

​Each episode features a different person sharing their “okay” moment on a voice memo. A moment that reminds them that the world isn’t all that bad, which offsets the pervasive “doom and gloom” that surrounds us. It’s a practice of finding something special in the mundane, and I find myself looking forward to every episode.

Be sure to check it out!

That’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in June. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend and/or a favorite frenemy! :)

Take care,
Desi

I recently listened to a podcast, called “How Awe Transforms Us,” which mentioned a term, “collective effervescence,” coined by a French sociologist named Émile Durkheim. To put it simply, it’s when people gather energy for a shared purpose.

Intrigued, I honed in on the examples of collective effervescence:

• Attending a concert
• Dancing at a wedding
• Gathering at a place of worship
• Protesting or marching
• Watching a favorite team play (in person)

In a world that feels so disconnected and isolating—despite our technological connection…or maybe because of it—we need to find a sense of collective effervescence more than ever. 

Collective effervescence (CE) ranges from the mundane to the sacred. It can be spontaneous or planned. It fills our human need to feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Ironically, it also makes our world feel smaller (in a good way): like we’re part of a “village.” In the U.S., we put individuality on a pedestal, but too often we forget that we are part of a larger society. This connection is not something that our phones or social media scrolling can replicate. It requires our full presence and engagement. 

However, this isn’t the same as the superficial “we’re family” statements we might’ve heard at work and now largely understand to be problematic. 

Some of my favorite CE instances: cheering with other parents at my kids’ baseball games. Or dancing at hula competition, where we literally had to dance as one. Even if we didn’t win, the energy I got from sharing that experience with others fed me for days.

Now that I ride the train a few days a week for work, I’ve had more of these moments. One day, our train to Union Station experienced delays, eventually arriving only FOUR MINUTES before the last Metrolink to my Orange County was scheduled to leave. There were several of us in that train car who needed to catch that train home, so we all made a plan to try to make it. 

As the train doors opened, I held my bags tight and sprinted across the station with the other riders. Complete strangers just minutes ago, us fellow commuters cheered each other on as we ran up the stairs and dodged other passengers. With about a minute to spare, we all made it onto the train. Our middle-aged muscles burned and we gasped for air. But dammit: we did it.

With that said, in what ways have you experienced collective effervescence recently? Which experiences have stood out in your memory?

Moreover, pursuing creative endeavors can be isolating, especially when you’re hitting a rut or experiencing rejections. So when you’re feeling “meh,” consider how you can curate collective effervescence and feel less alone. When you feed your spirit, you may find more energy to overcome creative challenges.

I’ll leave you with this Herman Mellville quote, “We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”

Writing Update:
Jon’s almost done with the most tedious, time-consuming part of making a graphic novel: the penciling stage. Life has been SO crazy with school, work, the kids’ activities and appointments, and other unexpected hiccups. Next, Jon will ink and color the pages. Fingers crossed that these next few months will be kind to us and allow him to catch up. 

If you didn’t get a chance to purchase a book, visit our site and get one asap. We’ll be closing the storefront site in one week: Monday, 11/6 at 9am, so don’t miss your chance! 

Recent Read: Fante Bukowski 2, by Noah Van Sciver 

I randomly found this graphic novel in our bookshelf and gobbled it up quickly. It’s a hilarious story about a struggling writer named Fante Bukowski, who dreams of being a successful writer, yearning for credibility and respect in the writing world. However, his hubris and comical lack of talent keeps getting in the way. 

I laughed out loud at certain scenes and how painfully relatable they were, like this one:​

If you are a writer, an artist, or do anything creative, pick up Fante Bukowski. It's a fun and enjoyable read! 

Pet Pics: 

Lilo and Finn are practically besties now. Amelie isn’t thrilled, so she’s keeping her distance. But worry not: we’re offering Amelie lots of emotional support as she adapts to this change. 

Sanity Corner:
#1: Here’s another show we’ve been watching as a family: How to Get Rich.

The title is a bit misleading (in my humble opinion) because it’s not about “getting rich,” per se—it’s about maximizing one’s financial well-being. This can involve starting your own business, getting out of debt, or saving enough to afford a new place to live. The host, Ramit Sethi, is a financial expert who helps various people overcome financial challenges and meet their personal financial goals. The show is super engaging and leans in on the stories behind each person. As Ramit helps each client, he also integrates important lessons and tips for us to be more informed. I think financial literacy should be taught in schools, and we’re seeing the impact of not educating generations of kids about handling finances. The fact that my kids ask to watch this means I can definitely give it a big thumbs up!

#2: Our Dia De Los Muertos Altar

We’ve added a few more family members to our altar this year. But honoring and remembering them has brought us some peace and comfort. ❤️❤️ 

Garden Updates: 
Our pomegranate haul from this month. We actually picked about three times the amount that you see in the picture, but we shared a lot of fruit with friends and family. 

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again next month with more updates. 
If you know someone who’d like this newsletter, don’t hesitate to share this with them. :) 

Take care,
Desi