When a holiday break drops, I tend to go to war with myself. On one hand, I finally have the time to catch up on everything I need to do—well, not EVERYthing. But my hope-to-do list is long. And long overdue.

On the other hand, I’m so ragged and winded and breathless from the sprinting required to just get to this point that I just. Want. To stop. 

Kenny Rogers once sang, “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.” 

Sure, these lyrics were likely about a poker game (okay, sure…the song is literally called “The Gambler”). But I also wondered if it could apply to my holiday conundrum: “holding” space and energy for others versus “folding” into a place of rest for myself. 

For someone as restless as I am—someone with “zero chill,” as my kids and husband would say—doing nothing is HARD, fam. I’m the type of person who needs to move constantly. I’m the type of person who’d rather play the sport than watch it on TV. I’m that person during vacation who’d rather swim in the ocean or go on a hike instead of sitting on the sand with a drink.

While I have to be true to who I am, I know I also need a chance to recharge. So I decided to meet myself in the middle. A compromise. 

I’d spend the mornings of my holiday break doing: working on house projects, cooking, going places with the family, and catching up on appointments. 

And then I’d spend the afternoons just being: resting, reading, watching movies I’ve been wanting to watch (or rewatch). 

​While it feels good to cross things off our to-do lists, we need to make space to fill our cups. And if we want to be creative, it’s especially important. It’s where we’ll find a creative wellspring: not in the midst of the grind, but in the awe-inspiring moments discovered when we look up from our own lives.
​
I often compare myself to a worker bee. But even bees need to rest. Even they shut down the grind during the winter season. And for good reason, as this comic illustrates:

Like Claire, Abi, and Hannah, we all need to recharge and stay inspired to tackle the next chapter of our journey and whatever is in store in the months to come.

Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean we can stop everything and hibernate until spring. Nevertheless, I hope you’re able to carve out space during this season for warmth, coziness, and rest. 

Writing Updates: 
We had a great time at the Walnut Winter Wonderland and saw lots of familiar faces. Here’s a video recap of our time there. 

Also, we’ve booked the following appearances:
1/31: A Special School Visit/Workshop for 2nd-3rd graders

3/28-3/30: WonderCon in Anaheim 

Although we have a limited supply left, you can still get your copy of Three Bee Honey on our website. 

Find us on our socials:
IG: @st.amantstories
TikTok: @stamantstories 

Recent Reads: How to Think When You Write, by the Etherington Brothers

Jon has these amazing-looking books called How to Think When You Draw, by the Etherington Brothers, with a colorfully illustrated cover that caught my eye. When I discovered that there was another book, How to Think When You Write, I had to read it. 

This book has dozens of short and easy to understand tutorials that help with narrative storytelling. Each tutorial is broken down with visuals, examples, and exercises to try (like the one below). What I loved most was how it made me think about writing projects I’m currently working on, giving me multiple ways into the story or strategies for making the plot more interesting. This book is great for both beginner and experienced writers alike!

Sanity Corner:
I enjoy game nights, especially the tried and true favorites. If a game is new to me, the best way I learn is just by doing: jumping in and trying to keep up with the group. During the holiday, we played Plunder with the kids and other family members. It’s very similar to Catan—another family favorite—but with a pirate theme. Plus, you can attack other players’ ships, so things get real. They say blood is thicker than water. But what if that blood is shed in the precarious waters of a board game? 

Sorry about those ships, kiddos! 

That’s all for this year. Thank you so much for reading and being part of my journey! :) 

If you haven’t subscribed, make sure you click below to get the next newsletter in your inbox.

Take care,
Desi

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

In Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken,” he wrote:

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, 
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood 
And looked down one as far as I could.”

Both of these examples touch on something we can all understand: the comfort of the familiar and a fear of the unknown. While most people (including me) try to stick with the former and avoid the latter, those efforts are futile. The truth is, changes on our journey are inevitable, and we can’t know what will happen. We can’t foresee the future. And we can’t live in the what-ifs if we go one way and not the other. 

And that sucks, right? I mean, there’s already so much chaos in our world. So who would want to purposefully stray away from the familiar at this point?

That person would be me.

I know I’m not the only one. But if I’m being real, that wasn’t always how I felt. In my early adulthood, I craved stability. I reveled in a solid plan. And I loved helping people. So my career as a teacher served that purpose while giving me a firm ground to take root and grow. 

As many of you know, things changed. And—to belabor the metaphor—I grew tired of the path I was on. So I left teaching. Nevertheless, I immediately felt anxious about having no clear step-by-step trajectory for my future. 

Instead of rushing back to the life I’ve always known, I leaned into the new path and felt more determined to create the life I wanted, and that included venturing into the unknown in my creative projects as well. 

Many writers understand that getting a book traditionally published is hard. Extremely hard. Yet it was the standard by which writers measured their success, and the only way to get a story out that was worthwhile. 

Or so I thought.

When we tried getting THREE BEE HONEY published (as well as a second manuscript) through the well-trodden and very traditional path, we were met with dead-ends, false hope, and straight up silence. We thought our story’s journey was over. Another one lost in the sea of abandoned ideas. 

Then our agent actually encouraged us to try a non-traditional path: crowdfunding. This made us nervous. But we trusted that it would be okay. At the very least, we’d learn something, and that alone was worth it. So we ventured on another new path, and our story is now in print and has a whole new readership beyond us and our small circle of writer friends.

Now, I’m not saying going out on your own is easy by any means. But it’s important. It’s us putting a stake in the ground. It’s telling the world, Dammit, my ideas matter. 

So my wish for you is this: trust the voice in your head and pursue your dreams, even if they push against the familiar. Don’t keep yourself small to avoid potential pain. If a door is shut on you, make your own side entryway. 

Throw things at the wall, and see what sticks. Take more risks, even start with smaller ones, if that’s more comfortable. 

You might be surprised at how making your own trail opens up your world. 

Writing Updates: 
The THREE BEE HONEY books are now printed!

We received the book delivery, which was so exciting (we captured the unboxing moment in this video). Can you spot the early 90s movie reference? We’re anxious to get those orders packaged and delivered within the week.

If you missed out on our Crowdfundr campaign and would still like a copy of TBH, we have them for sale here on our website.

In the meantime, we’re looking into applying for exhibitor tables at local conventions and comic events. Also, we’re planning on making an appearance at some local pop-ups with other comic creators. Stay tuned! 

Current Read: Made to Stick, by Dan Heath and Chip Heath

I discovered this book when reading a Reddit post on how to come up with stronger “big ideas,” and this book was recommended. It’s been great so far! By deconstructing various real-world examples and leaning on evidence-based research on human psychology, Dan and Chip Heath illustrate why certain ideas die. More importantly, they reveal how we can take an idea that might be “okay” and amp it up to make it “sticky.”

​Fun note: they also cite teachers as great examples of people who are effective at making complex ideas “stick” with students (yay teachers!). If you’re looking to make your ideas stronger or finding an angle to make it resonate more, this would be a good book to check out!

Garden Update:
Our late-summer fruits are coming in hot! Lots of grapes (cabernet and red flame table grapes), plus figs. The purple cabernet grapes are astringent and really only work to make wine, which we tried to make a few years ago. It tasted like balsamic vinegar lol. We’ll have to try again when we have time. But the red grapes are very sweet and crisp and even better after they’ve been chilled in the fridge. And the figs are delicate, sweet, and so snackable. 

​I’ve been baking more these days. Since the afternoons get pretty warm, I usually try to bake in the mornings.I don’t have a ton of baking experience and truly lean on my go-to recipes: banana bread with chocolate chips (pictured), cookies, and sometimes homemade granola. There’s something so grounding about it. I love the way the house smells when I have something baking in the oven. The way it makes everything feel so cozy. And cozy is always a vibe I’ll go for. 

That’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading! 

Go ahead--don’t be shy. Share this newsletter with a friend! :)


Take care,
Desi

​Poetry isn’t given the attention it deserves. But it sneaks into the cracks of our everyday lives via inspirational quotes, lyrics from our favorite songs, and stickers on water bottles. 

Poetry’s everywhere, so long as we’re paying attention. 

What I love most about poems is that reading them is like looking into a mirror. They each reflect essential human truths in some pretty surprising ways. 

So in honor of national poetry month, I’d like to put a spotlight on one of my favorite, albeit quieter 18th century poems: “To a Mouse.” 

Take a moment to read it, if you haven’t seen it before. It was composed in the Scottish dialect, but for this post, I’ll refer to the standard English translation. Written by the Scottish bard, Robert Burns, “To a Mouse” tells the story of a farmer plowing his field and accidentally destroying a mouse’s nest in the process. 

It seems simple and straight-foward enough…at first.

The speaker opens by addressing the mouse, feeling pity for him in the beginning. 

Small, sleek, cowering, timorous beast,
O, what a panic is in your breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With hurrying scamper!

Then the farmer reveals some self-awareness in this prophetic and poignant line:

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,

When I got to this point, I realized it was deeper than some dude talking to a helpless mouse. As the poem progresses, the farmer’s tone grows more despairing as he realizes that the mouse isn’t actually an inferior little “beastie.”

I want to focus on these lines toward the end:

But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

Still you are blessed, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!

Boom, there it is. The “mirror” moment of the poem. A golden nugget that reveals the essence of the human condition. 

We constantly dwell on the past and worry about the future. However, living in the present isn’t easy for us humans. But boy, do we try our darndest to make it our normal like the mouse does. There are entire industries built around this goal. 

If we’re lucky, maybe we can live purely in the present for a few moments, but the worries and anxieties, fueled by our egos, always seem to percolate back to the surface of our consciousness.

And in case we do get on our high horse and somehow forget about our flaws, we have poets to humble us. To remind us each and every day how beautifully complex we are. So yeah, grieve the loss of promised joys, the plans that went painfully askew, and remember that the whole point of this is to remember we are not the first ones to experience these ups and downs, and we definitely won’t be the last. 

So take heart in knowing we’re not going through this alone. 

Writing Updates: 
Jon and I created a little spring THREE BEE HONEY comic for our friend, Sarah Giles. We wanted to capture the bee’s POV when the weather gets warmer. For us, it’s time to enjoy some sunshine, but for bees, it’s time to get to work. 

Current Read: Scattered, by Dr. Gabor Mate

When both of my kids were diagnosed with ADHD, I immediately felt overwhelmed and frantically grasped at every piece of information I could get my hands on. Podcasts, books, classes—you name it. Some resources proved to be more helpful than others. But Scattered is one of the more helpful books I’ve read about this topic. And Gabor Mate is SUCH a great writer. His lucid and engaging voice made it easy to digest so much rich information. 

Parenting has always been hard. But parenting in this day and age—when we’re overwhelmed and juggling so many responsibilities—is even harder. Since we’re not raising our kids in a “village” like our ancestors, I consider these authors to be part of my village, guiding me and giving me hard-earned wisdom as Jon and I navigate this path. 

I’m still learning and growing as a mom. While my kids have faced and will confront additional challenges due to being neurodivergent, I can better equip myself to understand, support, and guide them. At the end of the day, that’s what matters most. 

If you know a child or adult with ADHD, I highly recommend this book! 

Pet Pics:

Lilo enjoying some baseball and watching her big brother as he crosses home plate. 

Garden Updates:
Our fig trees are back in bloom! Looking forward to putting some slices of this sweet fruit on my salads and toast. 

Sanity Corner:
We recently purchased a new record player since our old one stopped working a while ago. And man….what a difference a great player makes! The sound is so much richer, and you catch nuances in the bass and drums layers that are easy to miss on other devices. 

​Also, since I wasn’t able to see No Doubt perform at Coachella, we jammed to some Tragic Kingdom from home. It made my inner 90s teenager so, so happy. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for a reunion tour. 

That’s all for now. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend! :)

Take care,
Desi

They say “breaking up is hard to do.” And if we’re talking about relationships, yes. It is hard. But when it comes to doing work—especially creative work—breaking things up doesn't just make things easier to do. It’s essential. 

Let me explain. 

About two years ago, when I sent a new full manuscript to our agent, I thought the story was finished. Dear reader, it wasn’t done. Far from it. 

I was the one who was done, apparently. So when she responded with several pages of editorial notes, I literally blacked out. I wasn’t mad. The notes were spot on. I was just completely drained of energy from everything—and I mean everything—life had thrown at me, which is another story for another post. At that point, I decided that I needed to focus on just surviving each week. 

Then I put the manuscript away and couldn’t look at it for nearly two years. 

Throughout that time, it kept gnawing at me. This was a story I wanted to tell. It was a more emotional one, a more difficult one. But I just couldn’t muster the energy to work through it. 

Finally, my brain said, “OKAY, fine! I’ll do this thing.” But it still felt like too much. Too big and overwhelming for my perpetually overloaded mind to tackle. 

So I decided to trick it. 

I told myself that I just need to do one page at a time. Just one. And if I do more, great! 

So I made it a point to wrestle with one page a day. After that was done, I’d add a sticker to the chart. My goal was to do some hardcore revision on 100 pages, since those were the hardest, which is why the chart has 100 boxes. 

Okay, sure. It’s an elementary school vibe. But I’m telling you: it works!

Doing this for several days actually lifted me from my creativity block and helped me build some much needed momentum. And actually seeing my progress has been very motivating. 

So if you’re facing a big project and you feel paralyzed by the sheer size and scope of it, trick your mind. Break it up. You don’t need stickers. But you DO want to try to do one single, quantifiable piece at a time. 

Because baby steps are still steps. 

After a few days of this, my hope is that you’ll look back and feel good about your progress. 

And that’s how life works, isn’t it? It’s not about having these gigantic, Earth-shattering accomplishments each and every day. It’s the habitual small actions we take that eventually add up to meaningful results. 

Writing Updates: 
Aside from me re-working a new manuscript, Jon’s nearly done inking the pages for the THREE BEE HONEY Crowdfundr campaign. This endeavor has been much slower than we’d like, but we’re making progress each day. Jon’s even been inking pages during our sons’ baseball games, as you can see here. 

Current Read: Hello, Universe, by Erin Entrada Kelly

I just started reading this book, which explores friendships that surprise us and the self-acceptance that grounds us. Right away, I was pulled into Hello, Universe as it opens with Virgil, a shy boy who’s guarding a big secret. Often misunderstood by his family, Virgil struggles with the angst of growing up and not fitting in. Each chapter switches point-of-view between the four middle school characters, which kept me turning the pages. 

Furthermore, I love how even the supporting characters are developed with so much depth and personality: like Virgil’s opinionated grandma, Lola, who’s from the Philippines. Kelly expertly plots each scene, twisting it in ways that force Virgil into an adventure with these unlikely friends. While I haven’t finished the book yet, I already can see how rich the characters are in the world Kelly built. This is definitely a story I would’ve found solace in during my middle school years. 

​Pet Pics: 

​Lilo is just like me: if it’s under 70 degrees outside, we’re freezing and MUST wear a hoodie all day. 

​Amelie and Finn try their best to fit on top of their tower and watch the rainfall. 

Sanity Corner:
I’m an absolute sucker for inspirational quotes. So much so that I keep a growing list of them on my phone. Later, when I want to share one with a friend or a stranger, boom! I’ve got the perfect, mic-dropping line. 

Well, maybe it’s not mic-dropping. But it’s at least thought-provoking. And that’s good enough for me. 

I also have this calendar with quotes for each day of the year. It’s a very small but fun way to set the tone for the day. The insufferable teacher in me sometimes asks one of my kids to read it aloud and share what they think it means. 

​That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again next month. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with anyone who’d enjoy it! :)

Take care,
Desi

I hate clutter. I hate how stressful and overwhelming it feels to be around a lot of stuff—especially when dealing with a small amount of space.

In fact, my ideal home would look like an Ikea catalog if I had any control over my living situation (I don’t…I have kids and pets lol). My home would be a soft, comfortable, and functional space, but definitely minimal. And simple. 

However, unlike our physical realm, our minds have infinite space for whatever we want to pack it with. And because ideas need inspiration and our ideas come from our beautiful brains, it’s helpful to deposit lots of details instead of keeping it clutter free.

So it’s time to fill ‘er up. Pack it with all kinds of information. Observations. Trivia. Questions. Everything.

But all that inspiration hoarding shouldn’t come from one place (I’m looking at you, TikTok). Don’t rely on social media for all of your “research.” Get outside and look around. Notice what you notice. What people are doing. What they’re wearing. What they’re NOT doing. How people are eating. Which places attract people and why. Which places need upkeep. 

And if you’re stuck on a personal or work project or feeling “blah” about something that feels stale or you're just out of dank meme material, change your routine. Then download every detail you can about your day. 

I’ve started using this strategy myself, and it has improved my ability to brainstorm ideas more quickly. Now when I stare at my screen, I can make the cursor move on command with a list of some starter ideas. And some of those have the potential to actually be good ones. 

Picasso once said that “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” So work at it by shaking things up and noticing the world around you. Then commit what you observe to your memory. 

You never know when it might come in handy when you need some fresh inspiration down the line. 

Current Read: How to Get Ideas, by Jack Foster

My earlier manifesto was inspired by this book. Jack Foster does a great job of inspiring and teaching us how to turn on that radar in our minds to find ideas. They are all around us, if we pay attention. How to Get Ideas is a super easy read and great for anyone who wants to find inspiration, whether it is for work or personal projects. 

One specific exercise he suggests is to spend time really, truly observing our surroundings and then write down specific observations we have each day, which can be completely random. But the act of noticing helps us exercise that inner muscle and see more going forward. 

Here are some things I noted on day one during my work commute on the train:

-Most people’s heads were down, looking at their phones.
-A teenage boy had his basketball shoes untied and seemed unbothered by it. I also noted how the untied laces touching the train floor gave me the ick. 
-A man standing on the train was reading an art history book with black and white images.
-I’ve been reading a new poem each day, and this one poem was about loss and how we hide our grief in the shadows of our smiles. #deep

Pet Pics: 

Lilo being a brave little pup as she gets her annual shots. Don’t worry, she got extra cuddles. 

​Amelie soaks up a little sunshine (and superiority) from her window perch. 

Garden Update:
Our lemon and grapefruit trees have no chill and produced a lot of fruit this month. At first, I wasn’t thrilled about grapefruit—I didn’t eat it growing up. But now in my ripening years,  I’ve developed a taste and enjoy them without any added sweetener. No judgment here if you like a little sugar on yours, lol. 

Jon got me into this podcast called Ologies, with Allie Ward, where she interviews experts on everything from black holes to apples to near death experiences. Every episode is fascinating and super engaging (Allie is such a funny host!). I’m always looking forward to learning from Allie and her team. 

She also has “Smologies,” which are shorter, kid-friendly episodes for younger audiences. Please check it out, and challenge yourself to listen to something you know nothing about. As you listen, the episode will suck you right into that wonderful rabbit hole of curiosities. 

That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. 

Feel free to share this little newsletter with your friends! :)

Take care,
Desi

Here’s a short, sweet poem by one of my favorite poets:

Just as the hare is zipping across the finish line,
the tortoise has stopped once again
by the roadside,
this time to stick out his neck
and nibble a bit of sweet grass,
unlike the previous time
when he was distracted
by a bee humming in the heart of a wildflower.

~ Billy Collins, Horoscopes for the Dead

This poem reminds me of the Frog and Toad memes I started seeing on the Interwebs about a year ago: a Gen Z reaction against hustle culture.

​I’ve always operated like the hare in Collins’ poem. But I’ve envied the tortoise and have realized how wise he really is. We’re all racing somewhere. Racing to the job title. Racing to the accolades. Racing—and stressing and worrying along the way—to whichever status symbol that tells the world we finally made it. 

But who really cares?

The world is so much bigger than us and our precious little myopic egos. It’s healthy to zoom out far away from ourselves and hold on to that perspective. It’s humbling, but it’s calming, too. 

Once we cross a finish line, we manufacture another “finish line” to race toward. And then we go on social media, see what others have done, and feel inadequate all over again. Then we dream up new benchmarks. It goes on and on. 

And it’s exhausting. 

Sure, we can set goals and strive for them. But that requires balance. We need to remember to stop by the roadside once in a while. Touch the soft grass, feel the breeze and warm sun on our skin. 

Like Frog and Toad: 

My goal is to do this more myself. And I’ve been surprised by how hard it is after being conditioned to rush and race from one task to the other for so many years. 

So slow down. Be present. Enjoy the journey and stop to marvel at the insects along the way.

There’s no rush. 

Writing Update:
Jon has finished inking page 40 of Three Bee Honey—hooray! Progress has been slower than we’d hoped, but we’re inching closer each day. 

Here’s a sneak peek at one of the pages with Claire, Hannah, and Abi learning about the waggle dance:

So cute! 

Recent Read: The Bluest Eye, by Toni Morrison

I read this book back in college. And now that I’ve had more life experience under my belt, I felt it was worth revisiting, and I’m enjoying it even more. I also wanted to re-read it since it recently stirred up so much controversy and has even been banned in school districts around the country. The Bluest Eye explores beauty standards and racial identity. It’s about a Black girl named Pecola who is growing up in the Jim Crow South. She dreams of having blue eyes because she feels that will make her beautiful, and in that yearning, we see the pain and tragedy that inspires it. 

Toni Morrison’s prose is both beautiful and raw. Every book I’ve read by her is filled with passages that make me slam on the breaks, reverse, and re-read because I’m so shocked she actually “went there.” While her stories aren’t for the faint of heart, and this one explores many uncomfortable topics (definitely not for young ones), they cut to the core of human nature with devastating elegance and should be read by as many people as possible. I highly recommend this book! 

Pet Pics: 

​Lilo enjoying a lazy moment (and a cozy sweater) as her mom works. 

Finn keeping an eye out for his special outdoor cat friend. 

Garden Update:
Our blood oranges are back in bloom, which means some yummy juice in the mornings. In the past, we’ve made marmalade with the fruit, but life is just too crazy at the moment, so maybe next year. 

Sanity Corner:
Circling back to the poem by Billy Collins, one of the things I love to do when I want to slow down is going on walks. 

When I’m in the office or working from home, I try to take a break and go outside to clear my head. Just a 10 minute walk works wonders. 

If you can, squeeze in one 10 minute walk into your daily routine: before work, during the work day, or after. If we can spend 10-30 minutes doom scrolling, we can manage a short walk. :)

It’s well worth the effort. 

Welp...that’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading!

I’ll be in touch again in February. :)

Take care,
Desi

​I hope you all had a restful holiday with your loved ones! I finally have a second to breathe after the craziness of the holidays, and I wanted to get in touch before the ball drops in 2024.

Plus let’s face it: my productivity took a precipitous drop this week. 

As we disembark from the absolute rollercoaster that was 2023, I thought I’d reflect on the ups and downs of the past 12 months. 

Challenges: 

• Finding my footing as a copywriter: I left a very established career that I was good at, but it was draining my lifeforce. After walking away from a situation that was causing harm,  I’m now starting over in a new industry, which is difficult in new ways. 
• The balancing act: This was more so in the 1st half of the year, but I juggled a full-time job, parenting/family, taking night classes, and working freelance jobs to build experience, so “me time” has been pretty much non-existent. I’ve learned to savor solo trips to the store. 
• Navigating uncertainty: I’m still figuring out where I’m going, and there’s definitely more pressure to do so quickly with kids, bills, etc. I’ve told people that it’s like being in a forest with no discernable path, leaving me to forge ahead and make one on my own. That can be scary.  
• Networking: Ugh…as an introvert, this is HARD. I may seem gregarious to those who know me well or have seen me being “onstage” as a teacher, but my happy place is in quiet solitude. So having to talk to strangers at an LA work event is difficult, but it’s a skill I need to develop. I try not to “sell myself,” so to speak and just approach each interaction with genuine curiosity about the other person’s story and journey. That helps a lot. 

Highlights: 

• Jon: he’s a true homie and an amazing partner. His support, encouragement, and steadiness through this year has been a cornerstone for our family. He literally deserves all the good things in life because he’s a patient and selfless human being. 
• Learning a ton: I’ve learned SO much this year: about writing, persuasion, marketing, developing my voice, the corporate world, about various people and processes, and about me. This one is pretty rad because I know that learning is always possible, no matter how old we are. 
• Meeting cool people: While I’ve strengthened my relationships with friends who have truly supported me, I’ve been fortunate to cross paths with some awesome, talented, and inspiring people this year. Each person has had an impact on my journey, offering guidance and encouragement, and I’m so grateful for that. 
• Three Bee Honey: I was scared to do a Crowdfundr for TBH because I worried that people wouldn’t care enough to support it. But when we launched (with the help of the awesome Patrick Lugo guiding us along the way), people SHOWED UP and helped us successfully crowdfund our first graphic novel. 

I won’t kid myself by anticipating 2024 will be a smooth ride by any stretch of the imagination. After all, I’m an elder millennial who’s lived through decades of “unprecedented events.” 

But I know we have the tools to survive what comes our way, which reminds me of an old proverb:

“A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.”

Writing Update:
Jon is still inking the TBH pages. Juggling parenting and teaching middle school and life is hard, fam. However, he’s getting the pages done--slowly but surely. 

Recent Read: The Creative Act, by Rick Rubin

A fellow copywriter at work recommended this book a few months ago. Around the same time, Jon bought it and loved it. Once he finished, he passed The Creative Act to me to read for inspiration through some serious writer’s block I was having. This book is 100% deserving of all the hype. I’ve felt grounded by Rick Rubin’s immense wisdom. And I mean so. Much. Wisdom.

Another thing I’ve grown to appreciate in non-fiction books like this one: I love the short chapters. We are always hustling and rushing from one thing to the next, but if I have 10 minutes or so, I can read a chapter, fully digest it, and feel like I learned something instead of stopping halfway and letting the main idea dissipate into thin air.

Pet Pics: 
Lilo turned 2 on Christmas Eve!  Here she is with her little holiday headband. 

​Here are Finn and Amelie working hard at competitive napping. 

Sanity Corner:
I know I’m late to the game, but I finally started using “Do Not Disturb” mode on my phone. 

​And holy moly—what a difference it has made! 

Text messages can be a huge distraction when you’re trying to establish a workflow or focus on other tasks--even if that TikTok video your friend sent IS hilarious. It’s been so effective at blocking notifications, that I’ve set my phone to DND every day, even on weekends. 

If you haven’t tried “Do Not Disturb,” I strongly recommend it if you want to reduce distractions.

That’s it for now. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in 2024. Have a Happy New Year, everyone! :)

Take care,
Desi

​Recently, a former student reached out to grab some lunch. So we met up at a local cafe when she was finished with her college classes. 

Having been out of the classroom for over five months, I felt like I’ve been shedding my “teacher” identity. No longer reacting to the bell each hour. No longer grading papers every single day. But hearing her exclaim, “Mrs. St. Amant!” brought me back to that part of myself. 

We chatted about our lives and what we were up to. She told me how she was enjoying her college experience and meeting new people with similar interests. When she asked me about my job, I shared how much fun I was having working in such a different world, but I also mentioned the feeling of uncertainty and how uncomfortable it felt to grapple with more unknowns nowadays.

She smiled and said, “I remember when you talked to us about college…how we were so anxious and worried about getting an acceptance. You said that things have a way of working out. Remember?” 

Yep. I remembered saying that. How easy it was for my old self to say. If only the old Desi knew what was in store. 

Then she continued, “Once we made our college decisions, we were still anxious. But this time, it was about our future and whether or not we made the right choice.”

I smiled. It was all coming back to me. And it felt so bittersweet this time. I sipped my tea and listened. 

She added, “You told us that we don’t change when we’re comfortable. When we experience discomfort, we can grow into our better selves.”

I chuckled. Dang, that Mrs. St. Amant could be wise…sometimes. 

At that moment, I realized that I needed to hear those words. And I was so filled with gratitude that my former student gave me such a helpful reminder from my past.

Sometimes our past comes back to haunt us. But if we’re lucky, our past will come back to guide us just when we need it. 

I’ll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite poets, Maya Angelou: “I have great respect for the past. If you don’t know where you’ve come from, you don’t know where you’re going. I have respect for the past, but I’m a person of the moment. I’m here, and I do my best to be completely centered at the place I’m at, then I go forward to the next place.”

Writing Update:
Jon has finished penciling the comic. People, he has FINISHED. 

​Life was wayyyy busier than we had predicted. Now he’s inking the pages. The more complex pages take a bit longer (due to more detail), but things are moving along. 

We’re also working on strengthening a concept for Ruby & Copper, a story we’d been chewing on for the past year. We love the characters and have been brainstorming concepts, and we finally feel like we have a solid idea. 

​Working logline: Ruby wants nothing more than to be accepted by her community, and she feels that winning the local baking competition will get her there. But her inner monster, Egara, keeps getting in the way. She must learn to tame Egara or she’ll lose the last connection to her town.

Here it is, our very first peek at an Egara sketch! 

Recent Read: Steal Like an Artist, by Austin Kleon

This book was such a fun, quick read! I finished it after two days (I could’ve finished it in one day if I didn’t have work). 

Kleon’s writing style is accessible, engaging, and funny. I dog-eared many pages as I read his insights. Furthermore, I also appreciated how Kleon included illustrations to make each point super clear and memorable. 

Beyond his life lessons and insights on creativity, what I loved most was how the book gives us permission to seek inspiration from other ideas. Unlike imitation or plagiarism, we’re giving the inspiration our own twist and making it new and fresh (hence, “stealing” like an artist). 

This is a book I’ll definitely re-read when I’m in a rut and need some quick inspiration to get going again!
​
Pet Pics: 
Finn and Amelie are back to being besties despite Finn hanging out with Lilo more often lately. 

​Meanwhile, Lilo loves to get snuggly in her blanket on my work from home days. 

Sanity Corner:
This is a little late, but Jon and I watched Fantastic Fungi a few months ago and found it so fascinating. We had no idea what to expect, but it was such an engaging and intriguing documentary. The complexity of fungi and the potential implications for helping people suffering with mental illness gives me hope. I look forward to seeing more research on this plant’s potential for healing. 

That’s it for now. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in December. 
If you have a bestie (or even a frenemy) who’d like this newsletter, don’t hesitate to share this with them. :) 

Take care,
Desi

I recently listened to a podcast, called “How Awe Transforms Us,” which mentioned a term, “collective effervescence,” coined by a French sociologist named Émile Durkheim. To put it simply, it’s when people gather energy for a shared purpose.

Intrigued, I honed in on the examples of collective effervescence:

• Attending a concert
• Dancing at a wedding
• Gathering at a place of worship
• Protesting or marching
• Watching a favorite team play (in person)

In a world that feels so disconnected and isolating—despite our technological connection…or maybe because of it—we need to find a sense of collective effervescence more than ever. 

Collective effervescence (CE) ranges from the mundane to the sacred. It can be spontaneous or planned. It fills our human need to feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Ironically, it also makes our world feel smaller (in a good way): like we’re part of a “village.” In the U.S., we put individuality on a pedestal, but too often we forget that we are part of a larger society. This connection is not something that our phones or social media scrolling can replicate. It requires our full presence and engagement. 

However, this isn’t the same as the superficial “we’re family” statements we might’ve heard at work and now largely understand to be problematic. 

Some of my favorite CE instances: cheering with other parents at my kids’ baseball games. Or dancing at hula competition, where we literally had to dance as one. Even if we didn’t win, the energy I got from sharing that experience with others fed me for days.

Now that I ride the train a few days a week for work, I’ve had more of these moments. One day, our train to Union Station experienced delays, eventually arriving only FOUR MINUTES before the last Metrolink to my Orange County was scheduled to leave. There were several of us in that train car who needed to catch that train home, so we all made a plan to try to make it. 

As the train doors opened, I held my bags tight and sprinted across the station with the other riders. Complete strangers just minutes ago, us fellow commuters cheered each other on as we ran up the stairs and dodged other passengers. With about a minute to spare, we all made it onto the train. Our middle-aged muscles burned and we gasped for air. But dammit: we did it.

With that said, in what ways have you experienced collective effervescence recently? Which experiences have stood out in your memory?

Moreover, pursuing creative endeavors can be isolating, especially when you’re hitting a rut or experiencing rejections. So when you’re feeling “meh,” consider how you can curate collective effervescence and feel less alone. When you feed your spirit, you may find more energy to overcome creative challenges.

I’ll leave you with this Herman Mellville quote, “We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”

Writing Update:
Jon’s almost done with the most tedious, time-consuming part of making a graphic novel: the penciling stage. Life has been SO crazy with school, work, the kids’ activities and appointments, and other unexpected hiccups. Next, Jon will ink and color the pages. Fingers crossed that these next few months will be kind to us and allow him to catch up. 

If you didn’t get a chance to purchase a book, visit our site and get one asap. We’ll be closing the storefront site in one week: Monday, 11/6 at 9am, so don’t miss your chance! 

Recent Read: Fante Bukowski 2, by Noah Van Sciver 

I randomly found this graphic novel in our bookshelf and gobbled it up quickly. It’s a hilarious story about a struggling writer named Fante Bukowski, who dreams of being a successful writer, yearning for credibility and respect in the writing world. However, his hubris and comical lack of talent keeps getting in the way. 

I laughed out loud at certain scenes and how painfully relatable they were, like this one:​

If you are a writer, an artist, or do anything creative, pick up Fante Bukowski. It's a fun and enjoyable read! 

Pet Pics: 

Lilo and Finn are practically besties now. Amelie isn’t thrilled, so she’s keeping her distance. But worry not: we’re offering Amelie lots of emotional support as she adapts to this change. 

Sanity Corner:
#1: Here’s another show we’ve been watching as a family: How to Get Rich.

The title is a bit misleading (in my humble opinion) because it’s not about “getting rich,” per se—it’s about maximizing one’s financial well-being. This can involve starting your own business, getting out of debt, or saving enough to afford a new place to live. The host, Ramit Sethi, is a financial expert who helps various people overcome financial challenges and meet their personal financial goals. The show is super engaging and leans in on the stories behind each person. As Ramit helps each client, he also integrates important lessons and tips for us to be more informed. I think financial literacy should be taught in schools, and we’re seeing the impact of not educating generations of kids about handling finances. The fact that my kids ask to watch this means I can definitely give it a big thumbs up!

#2: Our Dia De Los Muertos Altar

We’ve added a few more family members to our altar this year. But honoring and remembering them has brought us some peace and comfort. ❤️❤️ 

Garden Updates: 
Our pomegranate haul from this month. We actually picked about three times the amount that you see in the picture, but we shared a lot of fruit with friends and family. 

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again next month with more updates. 
If you know someone who’d like this newsletter, don’t hesitate to share this with them. :) 

Take care,
Desi

​With that said, here’s a poem that helped me feel more connected to my “why.” It’s not a “professional why” or a “creative why”--it’s more existential than that. Once I read it a few years ago, it stuck with me as a favorite.

“Good Bones” by Maggie Smith. 

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.

I have found myself asking, “What kind of world did I bring my kids into?” A world full of hate and fear and suffering and chaos. Yes, it feels bleak at times. Yes, I lay awake at night sometimes wondering how they will navigate through this. 

When I get overwhelmed, my mind goes back to that line: “This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful.” 

Smith is right: despite the ugliness we see, there’s still hope. Why? Because we can always discover and nurture what’s beautiful. 

The “good bones” are harder to find these days, but they are still there. Despite the noise, there are many people quietly and tirelessly doing what they can to spread the good. 

It’s up to us to see the good. 

For your viewing pleasure, here is the video. 

 Writing Update:
We’ve completed our Crowdfunder and surpassed our 2nd and final stretch goal. Woohoo! 

You may have noticed that we re-opened the Crowdfundr website. We had to temporarily activate the storefront due to some issues a few supporters had with their transactions. Some transactions (processed with Stripe) labeled the contribution as “TikTok,” which caused confusion for several of our supporters and their banks. Luckily, we were able to get ahead of this and make sure to clarify what happened. 

If you didn’t get a chance to purchase a book, visit our site and get one asap!

Now, Jon is working hard at illustrating the remaining pages. Then it’s time to color. Once that is complete and we check that everything looks good, we’ll send it off to printing! 🥳🥳

Recent Read: Stamped (for Kids), by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi and adapted by Sonja Cherry-Paul

My youngest son read this book, and it captured his attention right away. So much so that he finished it in two days!  It also prompted him to ask big questions, and we talked about what he learned about our country’s history and our current society. I appreciated how the book’s language is accessible and written for a younger audience so that they can wrap their heads around complex ideas. 

When he finished Stamped, he closed it and looked at me with sadness in his eyes, shook by the ugly elements of our history. But he had a newfound determination to share his insights with others--he even asked his teacher to make this book required reading for his class. My hope is that he will continue to stay curious and keep learning. 

Pet Pics: 

The band is back, y’all! 
In truth, this is a rare occurrence. But we’re glad they’re getting more comfortable with each other. Baby steps. 

Sanity Corner:
We discovered this show, and it was so eye-opening. Even our kids were into it. The host visits various locations around the world to learn how people improve their longevity. But it’s not just about living longer. It’s about living better. The people he features, those who’ve reached their 90s and even surpassed 100 years of age have so much wisdom to share. It made me think about my habits and how we as a family can have better balance. If you’re looking for a wholesome and inspiring show, I highly recommend this one! 

Garden Updates: 
Hurricane Hilary--you probably already forgot about her lol--was thankfully pretty weak by the time it hit our area last month, but it still did some damage on our pomegranate tree. We had to tie it with rope to our patio in order to keep it from falling. But the fruit is coming in and still growing, which is good. Once we harvest the pomegranates, we’ll have to prune the tree and add some support. 

This month’s question:
With so many products to choose from, I have to ask: which pumpkin spice products are actually worth the hype? 

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in October. If you have any friends who’d like this newsletter, feel free to share this with them. :) 

​Take care,
Desi